My pastor jokes about (well, we joke about him “singing” about) people’s need to go “Where everybody knows your name, and they’re always glad you …”

If I had any talent, I’d write a song about this:

Today I was struck by the comfort of knowing someone really well. Not just being able to anticipate their canned responses, but really, really knowing how they will choose to deal with a situation. How they think about the world around them. Being pleasantly unsuprised as they grow and change into that person who you had always seen inside them. I feel blessed with a familial peace today.

Today, that person has become the amazing person I could see in them when I was a kid.
He befrended the unfortunate (uncool) 11 year old who looks like he’s six.
She shared her family recipes with me.
He drove 400 miles just to ask me to dance.
She never looked so beautiful as she did on my wedding day.
He kissed his kids and left for Katarina, and then turned on his heels to head out for Rita.
She cried because Daddy wasn’t gonna be home in time to dance with her today.
He’s genuinely happy that I’m in love.
She still calls; just to see if I’m okay. And she knows when I’m not.
He’s a good, Christian dad.

Lord, thank you for granting me the peace that I am so often searching for. Thank you for blessing me with dozens of people who have steadfastly walked by my side throughout my life.

Forgive the offensive name of the website, but I thought it was worth sharing.

Ladies, what kind of site should we come up with for the guys?

Ok, so I get the ’til you die’ part, and I was prepared for the ‘respect your man’ part, and I was getting used to the part where I should attempt to concoct a healthy dinner at least once a month.

I’ve accepted the fact that I now own lemon Pledge and obsess over dishes.

A couple girlfriends tried to hint around about the realities of sex with a husband. I’m finding out more than I ever wanted to know about birthcontrol.

But I was NOT, I mean I was really NOT prepared for the Laundry-Quadrupling-Phenomenon!

I always thought that laundry could be explained by simple math. The more you wear, the more you wash. In math; One plus One equals Two. I did get that far in algebra!

I’m absolutely amazed to discover that in Laundry the rules all change. When you marry, one person’s amount of laundry plus another person’s amount of laundry does not equal double the laundry, it equals QUADRUPLE the amount of laundry!

I was unaware that there is some complicated exponential equasion and scientific phenominon that occures when combining two people’s t-shirts into one trip to the laundryroom.

Any suggestions as to what that formula is? I would really like to know!

I Minigeek, take you Geek to be my lawfully wedded husband.
To love, honnor, and launder,
In sickness and in health,
For richer or for poorer,
In low bandwidth and in high,
’til sixty-four, and every day for as long as we both shall live.

Ok, yes, I am the first to admit that I’m just a little (no comments from the peanut gallery, please) Type A. This is a fact of life. I deal with change by searching for (obsessing over) a solution, setting (obsessing over) a goal, and then work hard to (obsess over) achieving that goal. Of course, this is a very good way (the only way) to get anything done. Its a system that works very well for me.

So. I survived graduate school. I survived planning a wedding. I survived getting married. I survived my first purchase of lemon Pledge. I survived moving in with a man who thinks beige is a color, and worse, likes it! I am woman, hear me roar! I can conquer anything.

Except for the little changes that creep up on you and then WHAP you on the head.

We registered for the most cutest set of everyday dishes. The perfect dishes. Not only does every piece in the 44 piece set match each other, get this, they match my perfect little teapot that I adore. Our thoughtful friends brought us these fabulous dishes. I kept clearing away boxes so that the next box to be unpacked would be the fabulous dish set. They are plain, they are understated, and, so help me, they will match with every tablecloth I’ll ever be in the mood to buy, every day for as long as we both shall live!

Can you see it coming? Do you see the warning signs? I certainly didn’t see it coming, but here it is!!!

I’ve become the woman who not only owns lemon Pledge, but I own lemon Pledge and I obsess over dishes!

My dearest husband hauled the enormous box of fabulous dishes across the parking lot and up the stairs. I waited and waited until I couldn’t stand it, then I started hunting through the forest of boxes for the fabulous dishes. When I found it, I wiped the drool from my chin and cracked open the fabulous box of dishes. I pulled out the perfect little coffee cups and fondled them as I lifted them to their special place in the cabinet. I pulled out the soup bowls and gently blew the cardboard dust off of them as I placed them on the counter. I sang a little song and danced a little dance as I pulled out all forty-four dishes, one at a time, and welcomed them to our lovely home.

(Look at me! I’m getting better; I can separate a pre-rant into pseudo-paragraphs.)

One by one, I placed each fabulous 11″ dinner plate on the counter and separated a special place for them in the cupboard. With all of my I-have-a-desk-job girly might, I hoisted all of the dinner plates up into the cabinet. I inhaled and blinked, preparing to take in the wonder of the fabulous dishes settled in to their new home in our kitchen.

And then I saw it.

Oh! The HORROR!

The most horrible sight I had ever laid eyes on.

The dishes were WARPED!!

My precious!!

All of my dreams of domestic bliss had just vanished before my eyes. Every single soup bowl, salad plate, and dinner plate was as straight as Liberace (I’m so upset about these dishes that I spelled ‘Liberace’ right on the first try). It was like someone gave a kindergarten class shots of Redbull and tequila and then told them to go play in the dish factory! The dinner plates were giving me vertigo because they were at eye level!
I was so traumatized that I had to go lay down (ok, I’m exaggerating), but my poor husband had to pack every dish back into that box and remove them from our home before their disease infected our silverware and bake ware!

He loves me, he is so sweet. He took them back, and exchanged them for another box. Got that box home and guess what? That set of dishes was as warped as The Fly! Did I mention that my husband loves me? He took that horrid set back to the store too.

So it was time for drastic measures. I went to a department store. A department store!! I purchased a nicer set of fewer dishes for more money at a department store! I hauled them up the stairs, cracked open the box, wiped the drool from my chin, and can you guess?

WARPED!

It is officially clear that my husband would go to the end of the earth for me! He packed up a 3rd set of dishes. Does anybody know if IKEA is hiring?

I’m ready to break out the china and use it every day. For what Ian’s family paid for the magnificent china settings, those had BETTER be straight or I may need to be committed.

My sweet husband who loves me and forgives me and adores me (did I mention he forgives me) asked that we not use the china every day. I will buy straight dishes! I am woman, hear me roar!

I had a ton of stuff that I was planning on doing “in October,” “after the wedding,” but that list might take through December at this point. All of these married we social events really take a lot of time! We are going to visit my mother, we have dinner plans this weekend, we are going to his office party next Saturday night, we need to _________ this weekend!
eesh!

I miss the singularity of “I went to Stater Bros. while he went to practice.” Its efficient, and and and, its efficient!

But then he comes home from work every night and we cook dinner, wash dishes, do laundry, pray, and tuck eachother in. Its wonderful, and and and, its wonderful!

Ingredients:
100 Friends and Family
80 Orchid Blooms
58 Baby Food Jars
43 Bobby Pins
22 Bottles of Apple Cider
18 Ikea Teapots
12 Boxes of Duncan Heinz Cakemix
04 Spools of Ribbon
03 Awesome Photographers
02 Rings
01 Really Goofy Song

Prep time: 1.5 years
Shake, stir, and enjoy for 3.5 perfect hours.

Thank you so much, everyone!

Wed·ding·y adj An item associated with stereotypical Weddings. “You have to use toole to make it look more weddingy.”

Wed·din·gy adj A state of mind brought on by prenuputual preparation. Characterized by lapse in memory, excessive rambling, inablity to concentrate on simple tasks, and frequent outbursts such as “I forgot to wear underwear today!”