“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.
Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.
It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us.
We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and fabulous?
Actually, who are you not to be?
You are a child of God.
Your playing small doesn’t serve the world.
There’s nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you.
We are all meant to shine, as children do.
We are born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us.
It’s not just in some of us, it’s in everyone.
And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.
As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”

Swiped from Leahpeah, who quoted Marianne Williamson. I’m not sure I buy all the meditation spirituality malarchy, but: Wow, just Wow.

I got involved in the children’s ministry at church to be a servant, blah blah blah. God calls us to use our spiritual gifts, yada yada yada, I like to help people (Insert Peanut’s teacher voice) whaa-whaawhaa-whaa, whaa-whaawhaa-whaa, whaa whaa.

OK, really: I got out of the nursery and into the preschool children’s ministry this year because I really need to hear that simple message. Jesus loves me, this I know for the bible tells me so. I just don’t buy it. I wish I belived it, I want to belive it. A huge part of me is convinced that I’d be able to drop this enormous load if I could just buy in. I lecture myself to just accept it and stop over-thinking.

Jesus, You are so good.
Jesus, help me live like you.
Jesus, I love you.
Jesus, I give you my heart.
Jesus, I’m sorry.
Jesus, Thank you for loving me.

There’s something so amazing about cutting a sermon down to a simple sentence. Cutting out the overanalysis, justifications, and reiterations. There’s something in the children’s ministry message that just gets to me.

My hands, my feet,
my smile so sweet,
Jesus loves little me. 

I’m too white & nerdy to even know which song this is a parody of…

Because I would look exactly this dumb if I tried to do this breakdance moon walk (oh, yeah, thaaaaaaaaaat’s what it’s called!!) in real life…

You wanna invite me to your next drinkin’ party, dontcha!?

Dear Tech Support:
Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a
slow down in the performance of flower and jewelry applications that had
operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0

In addition, Husband 1.0 un-installed many other valuable programs, such
as Romance 9.9, but installed undesirable programs such as NFL 5.0 and
NBA 3.0.

Conversation 8.0 no longer runs and Housecleaning 2.6 simply crashes the
system. I’ve tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no
avail. What can I do?

Desperate
***************************
Dear Desperate,
First keep in mind, Boyfriend 5.0 is an entertainment package, while
Husband 1.0 is an operating system. Try to enter the command: C:/I
THOUGHT YOU LOVED ME and install Tears 6.2. Husband 1.0 should then
automatically run the applications: Guilty 3.0 and Flowers 7.0. But
remember, overuse can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Grumpy Silence
2.5, Happy Hour 7.0, or Beer 6.1. Beer 6.1 is a very bad program that
will create SnoringLoudly.WAV files.

DO NOT install Mother-In-Law 1.0 or reinstall another Boyfriend program.
These are not supported applications and will crash Husband 1.0.

In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have a limited
memory and cannot learn new applications quickly. You might consider
buying additional software to improve performance. I personally
recommend Hot Food 3.0 and Lingerie 6.9.

Good Luck,
Tech Support

We got out of town for our first anniversary. As promised, there was lots of coffee drinking, room service, and spa time.

I think I finally figured out this camera. Here’s a basic portrat – not too screwed up:

An extreme close-up that isn’t blurry:

And a lanscape picture of the old San Juan Capistrano Mission:

It’ll have to be local ruins for now. We haven’t saved up for Rome yet.

Happy Anniversary Ian. I love you more than Chocolate Lava Cake.

Mandajuice made me feel guilty for not blogging every day.  

I’m here, really… just busy. DH set me up with my very own rss feed of everyone’s blogs – so I’m getting around in the blogosphere and I’m all up-to-date, but not finding enough time to write. 

Are you ready boots? Start walking!

I started a new term at school. More teaching. Its getting easier. Good stuff. I’m learning how to deal with textbook publishers. Fun. Any tricks for getting textbook reps to call you back?

Is it a bad thing when your coworker compares you to “a girl from this one episode of What Not To Wear?” Ok, Ok, Ok, OK, I went shopping. Online. Because I’m too lame to leave the house and I don’t like spending a whole day trying on clothes. Bags and bags of wardrobe staples are arriving from various online retailers. Time to start throwing out college t-shirts, hand-me-downs, and barn clothes. And stuff I wore on dates with ex-boyfriends. That stuff is at least 4 years old, and it has got to go.

MiniMartha gave me a necklace for my birthday. I wore it to work once this week and got SIX compliments on it. Ok, Ok, Ok, Ok, OK, I’ll get up 3 minutes earlier in the morning to pick out jewlery for the day. On Tuesdays. When I don’t have to pack clothes for the gym. Maybe.

The pink hair, it is not so pink anymore. I’m disappointed – Its only been a few weeks and all the dye is coming out. Gonna have to go get it redone.  Or get suckered into buying “shampoo for permed and color treated hair.” Or both. Probably both. I’m booking the hair appointment as I type this.

Speaking of “suckered,” I let myself get suckered into signing up with a personal trainer for a couple of months. I lost 6 pounds on my own, then rejoined the gym. So far this trainer is 0 for 2. He slept through my first appointment with him, showed up for the last 10 minutes of my second appointment with him. I’m getting free sessions out of it left and right though. We’ll see if I loose any more weight.

DH and I get to run away this weekend. First Anniversary. There will be beaches, massages, cable TV and cucumber sandwiches. Because that stuff is all reserved and paid-for.

I’m adding roomservice to the list – DH, you have officially been put on notice.

There will be pictures! I say that now so that I’ll feel guilty enought to spend time using the camera this weekend (read: “learning to use the tricky-and-definately-female camera this weekend”). And No, The Geeky Husband will not take pictures for me to put up on my blog. ::Ahem:: Wait, Where was I?

There will be coffee. Because its my weekend off and I want caffeine. I don’t care if I’ve got the jitters after 3/4 of a cup. I’m drinking coffee.

Maybe I’ll even shave my legs. Maybe.

Shamelessly Swiped from iVillage 

1. Thou shalt not live in a bubble. Sometimes love is such a whirlwind of crazy joy that you forget that there are other people, things, and activities in the world besides the two of you. While this is understandable, you have to have outlets, otherwise you’ll drive each other bonkers. Before you met Your Guy, you were always getting together with your gaggle of female friends, hanging out with your family, putting in extra time at the office, saving the world at the local shelter, or taking a few classes to keep expanding your brain. Don’t stop. Just because you are Mr. and Mrs. So-and-So doesn’t mean you have to be attached at the hip and forget about everything else. Your marriage will be a lot more interesting if you keep on being the fascinating gal you were before he met you. You’ll also have a lot more to talk about over dinner.

2. Thou shalt respect all forms of life, not just married life. Life becomes awfully narrow when your social life revolves exclusively around other couples. One too many brunches spent talking about the real estate market will make you think you’ve died and gone to married hell. One benefit of your wedding was that you had the chance to introduce all of your previously separate social circles to one another. So once you’re wed, keep mixing things up: his friends and your friends, work friends and school friends, neighbors and family, old friends and brand-new acquaintances, singletons and smug marrieds, parents of twins and the child-free.

3. Don’t worry. You’ve still got it. When you were single, you met cute guys everywhere — at the laundromat, on the subway, at funerals. Once you’re hitched, it’s easy to miss the buzz of universal male admiring attention. But unless you’re a movie star and you absolutely have to look lustily at other men because it’s your job, don’t go batting those eyelashes at anyone but your beloved. Don’t worry, you still have the power. You’ve just got to take it on faith instead of soliciting daily proof.

4. Honor thy mother-in-law and father-in-law. Your in-laws may be incredible bores, gossipy and nosy, or so tacky and embarrassing you want to hide under your turtleneck when you’re out with them. Whatever type you’ve inherited, welcome them with open arms whenever you see them. No matter what you think of them, remember that they are responsible for raising your terrific husband. Even if you really believe that he only turned out normal due to some sort of divine intervention (think Marilyn on The Munsters), give them the credit. So listen to your father-in-law drone on and on about weird weather patterns and act riveted. Eat your mother-in-law’s scary meatloaf (even if you prefer things green) and don’t forget to ask for seconds. Grab another glass of wine if necessary.

5. Thou shalt not even bother trying to keep up with the Joneses. Let’s get things straight. There will always be a couple that is funnier, more attractive, sexier, wealthier, nicer, hipper, healthier, smarter, more successful, and more glamorous than you two. Got it? Even if you are the grooviest couple in the room at one party, you won’t be at the next. If you are constantly comparing yourself to other couples (some of whom you will find out later were just faking it on the road to divorce court), you will miss out on enjoying how happy you are just being yourselves.

6. Fight a clean fight. When you were dating and you got into a spat you may have found that slamming doors, crying and racing back to your apartment were effective tools in winning an argument. He would be so lost without you that he would come running over and say he was sorry. Well, I hate to break it to you, but the tactic is not going to work now that you are married and living together. You’re a lot better off staying calm and staying put to solve a tiff. Fight a clean fight and you are guaranteed at least that he’ll listen to your point of view. Winning is up to you.

7. Be a team. While you are both successful, independent people, don’t forget to cheer each other on, support each other’s crazy dreams, and encourage each other to live your best lives. If he’s up for a promotion, become best friends with his boss at the office Christmas party. If he’s always wanted to ride in the Tour de France, buy two tickets to Paris to see it up close. Lousy day for him? Treat him and his buddies to an after-work gripe session at the corner pub. On the days where your star is shining and his isn’t, make sure to pass him the winning shot. In a mean and crazy world isn’t it nice to know you always have someone on your side?

8. Be fabulous. Be comfortable being unconventional, glamorous, or unique. You don’t have to become June Cleaver now that you’re hitched. Who cares if you guys like to have the Christmas ornaments up in June, don’t have matching silverware, or prefer Pabst Blue Ribbon to a fine vintage? Let your hair down. You’ve found someone who loves you, warts and all, so be the marvelous off-beat woman that he fell in love with and never try to be some cookie-cutter Mrs.

9. Be romantic. Sounds crazy but sometimes it’s easy to forget what got you married in the first place. Don’t stop being romantic, sexy, creative, impulsive, spontaneous, and crazy in love now that it seems easier to rent a video and order takeout. Take tango lessons, get season tickets to the ballet or hockey, go ice-skating hand-in-hand, and let him pick you up for a date. Don’t be afraid to be unabashedly Hallmark-card cheesy and profess your love. Whatever it was that got you thinking he was the man for you, keep doing it. Most important, don’t ever forget the power of an unexpected drop-everything smooch.

10. Be thankful for your guy. There are times when married life will make you think back to your sensational single days with longing and alarm. You were Mary Tyler Moore, for God’s sake, what made you think you wanted to be Edith Bunker? When the love of your life is driving you bananas, it is time to remember how sexy/suave/smart/sensitive/studly your man was the night you first decided that he was IT. Remember how lucky you are to have someone who puts up with all of your nonsense. If through everything, you remember to be grateful for landing the most wonderful man on the planet, your marriage will reflect that, every day.