“Write a poem, story or little ditty with the word LEGO in it!”

My little brother, he played with Legos as a kid. There are two ginormous pirate ship sets. One year my brother asked for one for Christmas and one for his birthday. There were Legos everywhere. Fourteen Bazillion Legos on his bedroom floor. There were many a decapitated pirate whos little bearded head had been sucked into the vaccum cleaner.

I hate shoes. I have wide feet which never would fit into children’s shoes, so I was usually barefoot and would often step on a stray Lego wedged into the carpet.

DH? He will sometimes tell me that he played with Lego too. When he got in trouble, his mom would threaten to take away his Lego. A Lego. I tease him because I can never imagine how much fun it would be to play with one Lego. Kind of like playing with a Log? I keep forgetting to ask him what color his Lego was.

Yesterday I saw a commercial for Lego blocks, and the announcer used “Lego” in the plural also. Who knew?

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At 4 am, there ain’t nuthin on T.V. except Lunesta and Mystery Depression Medication commercials.

Friday, I put up my last post and went to check my RSS feeds just as I was running out the door for date night.

DOH! Remind me to check the RSS feed before I post anything! I offer up the following Ode To Damage Control:

“There’s a blog theme thing going on, NaBloPoMo, a “post every day in November” thing. I signed up, and because I battle anxiety about everything, I planned out what I was going to write every day for the whole month and posted it on my blog.

Then I went back today and wrote a post with the theme of “I’m gonna post before I check all the other blogs on my rss feed” and posted a depressing “I got nothing to say because I don’t want to spew all my personal anxiety, depression, and family issues on the net” post.

And THEN I checked my RSS feed, and saw that Mrs. Kennedy from Fussy (a relatively Big Fish blogger) plugged my blog on her site today. This is exactly the kind of social situation that makes me a nervous wreck!

Look at that dumb luck!? Hoooooooooooooow could I be so dumb? Mrs. Kennedy is sending who-knows-how-many people to my blog and I’ve just posted a “woe is me” post!?

My dilemma is, do I pull the post down before *everybody* sees it, and repost it later when it’s funny? Or do I leave it up like it is: Hi,welcome to my site, I have no self-esteem, you want to bookmark me, right?”

I sent out this panicked email to DH, several non-blogging friends, and a few bloggers I met at Blogher. Most of the feedback I got was in the vein of “It’s your blog about you, leave it up!” I did leave it up with a minor change in the wording of the paragraph about our marriage. I’m feeling pretty good about that. I can’t belive I’m blogging that I called Fussy a Big Fish.

Date Night did totally rock. I got a fair amount of “me time” on Saturday because DH slept in until noon-thirty. Moose’s band was really good (if you think screaming and growling=music). Sunday, I remembered to pick up a birthday gift for the boss, and I had some time to try my hand at canning applesauce. Speaking of canning, remind me not to take on new projects armed only with directions from the internet.

Ok, how stupid is this?

I got nuthin’ to say!

I sit down to my rss feeds to see wazzup in the blogherhood, and I read aaaaaaaall about what’s going on, and then after I’ve had my morning coffee bloggy, I think “well, she said it best, nothing more to add.”

Dur!?

So today, a post without first checking the rss feed:

How ’bout all that crazy stuff on cnn.com today? How ’bout those Mets? Duuuuuuude The Internet has been depressed lately. I hope everyone’s okay. Today, I, like totally had, like, a hamburger for lunch.

::crickets chirping::

I’ve drawn a heavy line between what I will and will not blog about. Unfortunately what happens is that there full months when all the goings-on are going on on the other side of the line.

I don’t blog about my day job, because, well, that’s just dumb. I would prefer not to wear a big red sign that says “Hi My Name Is: Please Fire Me.” I don’t blog about my part-time teaching gig for the same reasons. There go 44 hours of unbloggable writing fodder.

I don’t blog about the problems in our marriage, because that’s just not nice. We were taught during premarital counseling that serious issues should be kept between our marriage and a professional. So far, that has been the best policy for us, and I haven’t seen a reason to change. I will not use this space to get back at him: “Hello, My Name Is: I Fight Below The Belt.” On the other hand, I haven’t seen too many marriage counselors set up shop in our neighborhood. Who do I talk to?

I don’t blog about my three loves; Goose, Moose & Monkey because they are minors and I respect their parent’s decision to not allow information about them on the internet.  After The Incredibles came out on DVD they rushed me into the house and insisted that I sit down to watch the extended scenes. We all laughed together watching Jack-Jack torment the babysitter. Jack-Jack’s got nothin on Moose. God love ‘em. They are my joy. I hope they know that. If this could be a babysitter blog, It’d be all them all the time. BOY have I got some stories for you. “Hello, My Name Is: That Crusty Old Lady Who’s Always Talking About The Old Days.”

I don’t blog about my family. I resent my perceived role in the family as The Keeper Of The Peace, and the expectation that I’m required to keep everyone’s secrets for them. I would love nothing more than to reach out into the Internet and grab up as much support for this burden as I can find.

Unfortunately, The Internet has many ears.

I can’t blog about my mom’s pet project, my brother’s recent major surgery, my father’s engagement, and the friendships that I’ve had to destroy because of the secrets they make me keep. I can’t have a real and honest conversation with any of my extended family because I am expected to dance around and juggle which thing I’m not supposed to say to who about what. I’m not sure who I have a genuine relationship with.

I’m tired of carrying all of this weight. I’m tired of losing friends. I’m gonna drop the ball. I can’t take the pressure, and I’ve been really depressed about this for the better (that is a stupid expression) part of my life. “Hello, My Name Is: Basketcase.”

It’s consuming. It’s exhausting. I’m losing myself.

There’s a tagline on a blog I read “lying by omission so it all seems just ducky.” After reading that blog long enough, I can guess what parts of her life aren’t “ducky.” That works for some people. Chronicle the positive so that it’s easy to look back on. I don’t know how to do it, so I end up posting cheesy avatars or nothing at all.

Tonight is date night. In the morning, I will get some genuine “me time.” Tomorrow will be the first time I get to hear Moose’s band perform. And now I get to go read all of your posts in my RSS feed.

::Inhale. Exhale. One foot forward::

Where’s the plan? Who’s got the plan? What is the plan? I need a plan!

My old horse-trainer is rolling his eyes and silently laughing at me right now. I can feel it.

Here is the NaBloPoMo Plan for each day of November:
Updated to reflect D.S.O. Sponsors

1. Halloween
2. 40 Days of Community
3. Holiday Shopping Challenge
4. Take and post a picture APWG Writing Prompt
5. Dink(y) Sells Out! If you email me by November 1st with 4 new post topics that you would like me to write about on this blog, I will plug your blog on November 5th! Go ahead, Delurk!
6. Weight Watchers progress and accountability update
7. Ten on Tuesday A post from the unfinished draft archive
8. Use a writing Prompt   One Lump or Two?
9. Plug another Newlywed Blog
10. D.S.O._Somebody solicited my advice???_
11. Take and post a picture
12. D.S.O._Weekend shenanagins_
13. Accountability update
14. Self Portrait Tuesday
15. Writing Prompt
16. Anti-Narcissism Day: write about somebody else for crying out loud!!
17.D.S.O._This Post is Brought to you by the Letter “P”_
18. Diabetic Gourmet: go read it!!
19. Thanksgiving recipe with picture
20. Acountability Update
21. Ten on Tuesday Recipes – Someone asked a *Newlywed* to cook!?
22. D.S.O._Alternative Uses for Utensils__
23. Thanksgiving Picture
24. Thanksgiving Post
25. Take a picture
26. “Holiday Shopping” had better be DONE!
27. Accountability Update
28. Self Portrait Tuesday
29. Writing Prompt
30. NaBloPoMo Party

Writing Prompt: “Tell a story today about something (consumable) that you couldn’t live without.”

I don’t know how I’m living! You know that part of the Roadrunner cartoon where the coyote realizes that he’s run off the cliff and is standing in mid air? While we were dating we were going through “Questions for Couples” (see the book in the right side-bar, BUY IT!). One of the questions was “What’s the best part about being your gender?” Strawberry Lipbalm. Bonne Belle Strawberry Lipbalm is my crack.

And you know what’s sad? I can’t remember the last time I had a tube. I’ve taken stock of how many half-used beauty products I own and vowed not to buy another until I’ve used up each half-used container. I’m still trying to use up all of those nasty, ineffective, and icky-tasting Avon-interpretations-of-lipbalm that my mother has been stuffing my stocking with for the last 15 years.  

Or maybe strawberry lipbalm was my crack. Chai tea lattes? My drink of choice at the wonderful Coffee Bean & Tea Leaf, but I’m no mochamamma, I can go for a week or two with out that spicy creamy goodness.

Dark chocolate Hershey’s kisses. The quick fix. Concentrated chocolatey goodness measured by the gram.  I’ve sworn off milk chocolate, because I always anticipate a thrill, and then milk chocolate doesn’t deliver. Most of the milk chocolate I get my hands on just tastes cheap.  

mmmmmmm. Dark chocolate Hershey’s kisses. Trick or Treat!!

Ick, a post every three weeks. Yuck.

Time to step up to the NaBloPoMo challenge.

Does that mean I can start writing 30 drafts now and post one a day in November?

Quick, somebody send me “Noone Cares What You Had for Lunch“