My Father In Law has a thing for random factoids and small talk. I’m just not good at small talk, so last time we went to visit him, I wanted to find a book that might generate some chit-chat.

I went into a bookstore and told the clerk that my FIL was that guy emails nearly every day with pictures from space, random websites, jokes, PowerPoint slideshows, Francine comic strips, or a glitter email with animated gifs of Jesus and puppies. The bored clerk perked right up, said “I know the perfect thing!” and directed me to The Book of Useless Information.

Some of the forwards are hammy, but it is nice to have something other than spam and clearance sale advertisments in my inbox every morning. In honor of yesterday’s prenatal appointment, I thought I would share this morning’s daily email from my Father In Law.

A woman and a baby were in the doctor’s examining room, waiting for the doctor to come in for the baby’s first exam.

The doctor arrived, and examined the baby, checked his weight, and being a little concerned, asked if the baby was breast-fed or bottle-fed.

‘Breast-fed,’ she replied.

‘Well, strip down to your waist,’ the doctor ordered.

She did. He pinched her nipples, pressed, kneaded, and rubbed both breasts for a while in a very professional and detailed examination.

Motioning to her to get dressed, the doctor said, ‘No wonder this baby is underweight. You don’t have any milk.’

I know,’ she said, I’m his Grandma, but I’m glad I came.

That Guy I Married promised Facebook that he would scan and post the ultrasound picture. I’m lazy, so I’ll wait for him to do that, and repost the picture here later.