I have no words.
I mean, I have words, I just…
I thought I would be able to summarily describe motherhood in short daily posts. I thought I would sneak away during nap time and crank out something quick to help me remember the day.

But, I have no words. Ducky was seven weeks old yesterday, I wanted to record all of the little things that I didn’t want to forget, before I forget.

I sit down, and have no words.

It shouldn’t be hard to crank out the labor story. The breastfeeding complaints. The cry for mercy in the middle of the night. The gas, the burps, the screaming.

It shouldn’t be that hard to sit down and write about the new experiences in a foriegn land. Mommy Groups! Mommy Guilt!

It shouldn’t be that hard to vent about The Mommy Police. I’m new at this, I have no training, I’m working my butt off, and I don’t suck at motherhood that badly. Stop criticizing me (and “suggesting” what I’m supposed to be doing), at least you got to shower today!

It shouldn’t be that hard to joke about torpedo boobs, and the other jokes that I can’t remember when I finally sit down to write at 2:30 in the morning.

It shouldn’t be that hard to admit that I don’t care if The Dog licks his face.

It shouldn’t be that hard to find a minute to jot down the milestones. His cord fell off! He can hold up his head! He learned to latch! He outgrew his newborn hat! He cuddled with me! He recognized Daddy’s voice! The newborn hand-me-downs don’t fit! That face was a happy face, almost a smile!

It shouldn’t be that hard to snap a picture of each adorable outfit he wears. Get a movie of his first coos. Get a movie of him doing something other than sleeping.

It shouldn’t be that hard to find a babysitter when I’m ready to sell him to gypsies.

It shouldn’t be that hard to remember what I like to do with my free time, when I finally have two free hands.