You know, I keep coming up with these witty posting ideas… and then the baby starts crying again.
And he’s crying again, excuse me.

Ok, got him on my glap. My son’s name is Ducky, he likes to vmijjknkjn ybpg type with me. It matkes i t a little difficult to fignitsh a thought lately.

William especially loves the back button. ARRRRG.
hn I suppose I should try to post something once in a while.

And, of course, That Guy I Married comes and offers to take the baby off my lap when I’m at the END of a post.
—
So, How about a new post?

My friend ElliesMommy has recently started writing articles for eHow. She sent me a few links and asked if I wanted to start writing them too. Her articles are thoughtful and have lots of pretty-pretty pictures to go with them.

I jotted down a list of things I might write about. I did come up with a few ideas.
Before I could even go to eHow and create a log-in, Ducky had smacked the Back-Button three times.
Arrg.

And, now I can’t find the list of articles that I was going to write when I had two free hands… I think the list said:
How to teach an adult to use a computer
How to make a Towel Cake
How to throw a Diaper Baby Shower
How to crochet a Newborn Sweater
How to sort out Good and Bad advice on Childbirth
How to live on the Westside without going broke.
How to save for your first home together.
How to REALLY throw a 100-guest wedding for under $5,000.

Of course, that’s just what I THINK the list said. I had to reproduce this since I can’t acutally find it.

Things that make me happy:

Ducky

Fighting with Ducky for control of the vcfdkeybboacrd.

Making sweet potaotoes for my cousin’s husband.

Organized closets.
Helping a friend Bust Clutter in her bedroom.

Planning birthday parties.

That Guy I Married

Walking The Dog down Santa Monica Blvd.
Spending time training The Dog to be a welcome member of the family.

Being able to keep The Dog in our two-bedroom appartment.

Dog Beach

Steamed Milk

Reading Bible stories to Ducky

Reading Bible stories to myself (for the first time).

Little Me, Little Me
Jesus loves Little Me.
My hands, my feet, my smile so sweet.
Jesus loves Little Me.

Making baby food.
Dream Dinners dot com

Making Christmas French Toast on December 25.
Shopping for myself on Boxing Day (American’s have got to get into Boxing Day)!

Wondering which spiritual gifts God has given to Ducky.
Wondering what Love Language he has.

Old Photographs.
Finding an old camera with old pictures of our first apartment.

Missing our perfectly imperfect first home together.

Listening to my tone-deaf mother sing lullabies to my son.

Finally getting some answers.

Watching kids grow up.

One at a time, we’re watching him learn sign language, reach for toys, and initiate games. That Guy I married taught him Bouncy Bouncy Bouncy Bouncy, Shake-a Shake-a Shake-a Shake. Ducky initiates the bouncing, then holds eye contact and leans in the direction of the game he wants to play.

For the last few weeks, we’ve been wondering what Ducky’s Love Languages are. Will he soak up Quality Time or will he thrive on hugs and cuddles?

It’s so fun to wonder about what he will say, what he will like, what he will do. Today, it occured to me that God has already given him a Spiritual Gift. I am just so excited to watch him grow and to learn which gift he’s been given.

How many more sleeps ’til we get to find out the answer!?

I got out for Girls Night last night. We saw “He’s Just Not That Into You.”
The movie was cute, just exactly the kind of thing to see with girlfriends. Don’t drag your man, he doesn’t need to be tortured with this one. If you’re going to make him see it on Valentines day, well, you’d better at least… nevermind.

Forget the recognizeable cast. I spent the whole movie watching the eyebrows. Yes, eyebrows.

I am mis-mactched. My hair is fine, wavy, and blonde. My eyebrows are coarse, thick, and b-l-a-c-k. They should name mascara after my eyebrows. I’m just a wee bit self consious about this. Thanks to the miracle of digital photography, I can’t escape The Eyebrows. This is my engagement photo, the one that My Dear Husband put in a frame and placed prominantly in our livingroom!
Be afraid! Be very afraid!

If I was a muppet, I’d have Bert’s black eyebrows, and Zoe’s feather-blonde hair. My eyebrows could be their own Muppet character, like Oscar’s pet worm Slimey.
(Why isn’t there a Muppet Avatar maker? There’s one for building your own Southpark character, Simpson’s character… why not a Muppet? It would really help me make my point, right about now.)

I’m going to have to do this the hard way. I was watching the movie, and the whole time, I was obsessing. “Should I try to shape my eyebrows like Jennifer Connelly? Or maybe Drew Barrymore? Jennifer Goodwin gets away with ultra-thin eyebrows… Maybe I could try to mimic Scarlett Johannsen’s? Sasha Alexander’s? Forget Jennifer Aniston, I don’t have her bone structure.

I’ve been to dozens of astheticians, and I find that even they are puzzled about how to manscape wax me. And, of course, when I try to groom them myself, I end up with a bald spot. ON MY EYEBROWS! Because I’m a classy lady. I’ve tried stensils, scissors, drawing “borders” and plucking, arching, bleaching, yanking…

My son sprouted eyebrows at three months. Threemonthsold! I don’t know if I should laugh or cry.

Where have I been for two months? Well… here’s a microblogging review:

Bloggymommer…i
thinks that her husband should pack his own “blankety-blank” Blanket-Free Diaper Bag.

is looking forward to bagels and the Getty museum.
11:39 AM Jan 31st from Ping.fm
is trying to figure out how to hold the baby and wash both hands in a really filthy bathroom.
5:33 PM Jan 30th from Ping.fm
is laughing. gramsie’s new license plate: GFU
2:39 PM Jan 16th from Ping.fm
mmm hot n sour soup!
1:19 PM Jan 14th from Ping.fm
is living!!!
2:11 PM Jan 11th from Ping.fm
loves watching Flight of the Navigator!
3:51 PM Dec 26th, 2008 from Ping.fm
has a FUSSY baby.
2:52 PM Dec 23rd, 2008 from Ping.fm
mmm… garlicy garlic with a side of garlic.
3:58 PM Dec 21st, 2008 from Ping.fm
just ONE more gift!
11:13 AM Dec 21st, 2008 from Ping.fm
melting. listening to ian sing The Rainbow Connection.
1:44 AM Dec 21st, 2008 from Ping.fm
text message cherry! yay for early christmas gifts!
7:09 PM Dec 20th, 2008 from Ping.fm
can’t believe her husband took The Dog inside Bed Bath & Beyond today!

got a new cell phone .

is trying to lure her husband home with Chicken Marsala.

went on a date!
is typing a resume and application with one hand.
should sleep when the baby sleeps.
is in love with Osh Kosh baby overalls, and wants a pair in every size!
would like to sleep until dawn for Christmas.
doesn’t know the first thing about tulips!
needs to get the video camera fixed! AAACK!
is proud of herself.
is itching to go out tonight – Want to babysit?
is trying to upload photos for the 4th time in 2 days.
is enjoying the adrenaline from her 5 mille walk.
will hand over her entire savings account to anyone who can put the baby down without him crying again.
is the Queen of Laundry
is a little bit sad.
is laughing. The baby fell asleep on the changing table while I was pulling his arms through a shir
is over-excited about wearing pants!
is not sure what to do with a free minute of quiet time
is singing the praises of the Moby Wrap! 2 free hands and a snug baby!! Can I shower with this thing on?
is wondering if Curry Chicken is really such a good idea after all?
wishes there was something she could do about Ducky’s hiccups
IT’S A BOY!

Tonight I’m teaching Dad to blog.

This is a link to youtube.

This is an image from flickr.

This is a video.

I can’t knit!

Oh, wait, NOW I CAN!!!!

Best Knitting tutorial ever!!!

1. I’ve got the babysitter here for another 13 minutes, I really should be writing the grocery list.

2. I am having a horrible time staying on task since Ducky was born. I’m not sure if it’s related to stress or hormones.

3. I got a blog called Bloggymommer, and then promptly stopped blogging after Ducky was born. Writers block sucks, especially when I can’t sit still to finish a thought (see #2).

4. I usually get to about number four, before I run out of things to list on these things.

5. Only Eleven minutes left until the babysitter leaves… I’m so distracted by this thought that I can’t think of what else to type.

6. I’m trying to teach myself to knit. I’m getting the hang of the stitches finally, but I never get more than a few stitches in before the timer beeps for the laundry.

7. The timer for the laundry is beeping, it’s driving me nuts, excuse me for a minute…

8. Ok, the laundry is fine now, but the babysitter is only here for 6 more minutes.

9. I’m looking for a good Marsala recipe? Anybody got one? That Guy I Married will thank you for it.

10. Ducky gets a lot of hand-me-down clothes and toys from his second-cousin Brady. The bouncer plays a catchy little tune that is stuck in my head.

11. Doot do do do Doot do, Doot do do do Doot do, Doot do do do Doot do DOOT DOOT DOOT

12. Sometimes, I’m ashamed that there isn’t something more deep going on in my mind.

13. I’m usually thinking about three stupid things at once, like right now, IN THIS VERY MINUTE, I’ve got to go pay the babysitter, fold the clean towels, finish this me-me, oh, and the baby is hungry AGAIN! Excuse me while I go nurse.

14. I prefer to nurse on the left, so i can type with my right hand. Like this…

15. Ducky’s growth spurts drive me nuts, he’s hungry every hour, and only nurses for 5 minutes. Grrrr.

16. The inside of Ducky’s ears smell like fertilizer. I love the smell.

17. I miss Franny. And the sunshine, fresh air, seasons, birds and trees I used to see every day with her.

18. When I was in college, I decided I’d have horses of my own if for some reason I couldn’t have children. Horses take up just as much free time as children.

19. I just added a childhood neighbor who has been able to manage having a husband, children, and horses. It makes me wonder if I could have managed the same.

20. I’ve been unusually tired this week. I’m not sure why. It might be the carb cravings… speaking of which, I’m not done with the grocery list yet. Forget horses.

21. Ducky is practicing screaming, he’s having fun. I wish he would stick to practicing baby-push-ups and rolling over. Even Dakota thinks he’s too loud, she just got up and moved 6 feet away from him.

22. I am hard of hearing. I’m debating getting a hearing aid. I wonder how much it would help. I wonder if I’d be able to carry a tune. I’ve been ashamed to sing in public for a long time.

23. I can’t believe I made it all the way to #23, although I’m pretty sure that some of these don’t really count.

24. Pork roast, Beef Stew, Chicken Marsala, what else should I cook for dinner this week?

25. I want to go home. I don’t know where that is.

I made Bella Bambina’s newborn sweater for Ducky to wear home from the hospital. I made it way too small for the 7lb 13 oz baby. That sweater was easy and adorable, so after the teeny-tiny-sweater debacle, I made Kelly’s Sweater for him.

I used sock-weight yarn, and multiplied the pattern by 1.5. I also alternated front-front-loop-only and back-loop-only.

He only wore it a few times (I stitch too tight), but I was sooooo proud

The Neverending Story of my Life
Lesson Plans
Photocopies
Dog Hair on the carpet
Dog Hair on the bathroom floor
Healthy dinners
The baby is crying again.
Groceries for healthy dinners
High Protein Breakfasts
Pumping Milk to store in the fridge
Laundry!
The timer for the laundry is beeping again. Again! Again!
Loading the dishwasher.
Clean bottles and pump parts
Clutter!
Exercise!
Walking the dog
Pack the breast pump.
Stocking the diaper bag
I can’t cook!
Unloading the dishwasher.
The baby is crying again.
Stocking the changing table
Picking up dog poop.
Refilling the water bottles
Unpack and reset the breast pump.
Making appointments for the baby
Making appointments for myself
Finding a sitter for the appointments
Washing the pump parts

The Nagging Questions
Does the dog need to poop?
Is Ian sleeping enough?
When will the baby wake up?
Do I have any fresh veggies at home?
Has the baby pooped today?
WHY is the baby crying again?
How many ounces does Ducky get now?
Do I spend too much time in therapy?
When was the last time the baby had a bath?
Am I going to get to shower today?
Does it matter if my toenails aren’t polished?
Are these meds helping?
Is this normal?
Should I change doses? Up? Down?
Do I need to wash my hair today?
Is my class attendance high enough?
Do my students like the class?
Are they retaining anything?
Am I leaking? Ugg! Did anybody notice?
Why can’t I stop moving?
Why is this list so long?

The reasons “I don’t like me.”
Hair Cuts!
Eyebrow Waxing!
Nails trimmed
I’m wearing spit-up again.
Unshaved legs
I should be more forgiving.
Ill-fitting pants
Stained shirts
I can’t get enough exercise.
Stretch marks! Sagging!
Plus-Size Pants!? WHAT!?

The Uncomfortable Stuff
Cheap, narrow shoes
Pants falling down again
Cheap socks
Old undies

The Social Phobias
I can’t keep up with the group.
I can’t find anyone here who is “like me”
Do they “like me”?
I can’t hear what they’re saying?
What are they talking about?
I should call her back.
I heard the wrong thing, and made a turd out of myself again.
I don’t fit in here.
Who says I have to fit in here?
I don’t dress like these people.
I have no idea what they’re talking about?
She never calls me back.
Am I embarrassing my husband?
Am I supposed to be this neurotic about wooden toys, plastic bottles, ergonomic baby shoes, vaccinations, preservatives? Why is everyone else?
What the heck is Preschool Panic?????

I wish I had time for…
Driving out to see my best friend.
Bible study.
My Brother.
Horseback riding.
Reading the bible.
Napping on the beach.
Sex.
Swimming in the ocean.
Training to start jogging.
Blogging.
Jewelry Classes.
Swing Dancing.
My cousins.
Knitting Classes.
Quilting Classes.
Massages
Coffee with her and her and her.
Writing letters.
Finishing my wedding album.
Recovering the recliner
Staining the vanity chair
Me.