Ten seconds or less. Let’s see if I can manage that.

Hi, Welcome to Dink(y), I’m Elizabeth. This started out as a newlywed blog - double income, no kids (yet). I’m still married to him. He’s still a geek. Still no kids (yet). We have a puppy. I have a degree in Education, I like to talk about Adult Ed, but not here.

I rededicated my life to Christ a few years back, and have lost some friends over it. Oh well. You still love me, right? I haven’t quite got the cahones to talk about Christianity on my blog. I just don’t feel like attracting any trolls. I know that technically makes me a Judas, deal with it. Or click the little X at the top right corner.

I also have baby-planning on the brain right now. I can’t blog much more about that because I don’t want the questions from my extended family. Yes, mom, I’m taking folic acid, now leave me alone! Lately, there have been one-too-many things on my mind that aren’t blogable.

Married life is great, but boy is it lonely. Noone warns you about that, just like noone tells you what pregnancy is *really* like until just after you get married. Blogher 2006 made me feel so un-lonely for the first time since I got married. This year we’re going on a cruise to Alaska so I can’t afford airfare and hotel in Chicago for Blogher 2007.

I like reading blogs. I heart reading, you know, “this one,” and “that one.” I’ll let you decide if you think they’re entertainers or trainwrecks.

But after Blogher 2006, I heart these people and want to marry them. She’s so pretty, and I wish she was my big sis. Seriously, she’s my pal, she’s my lifesaver, she’s my hero, she’s my idol, she’s adorable, she’s a crack-up, she’s a force to be reconed with, like IN REAL LIFE, and not just on their blogs! Have fun at Blogher 2007! Be sure to drink a nasty Yahootini for me!

Oh My Gawd!

Apparantly, its not possible to post in the blogophere this week unless you pick a side on the Momtini debate!

I hate to sound lame here, but can’t we all just get along!? Apparantly not. Ladies, I love you all. I met fabulous people in in San Jose this summer. Fabulous, cool, nice, friendly, ladies. Yahootinis, Momtinis, and that nasty “women’s mineral water” aside; you are my friends. It is killing me to watch you ripping into eachother.

I expect to see heated controversy over an issue like this. Its not that I expect harmonious agreement among Lefties, Righties, Greenies, Attachment Parents, Detachment Parents, Prohibitionists, and the I-Would-Never-Give-My-Child-Artificial-Sweeteners crowds. What I did not expect in my RSS feeds today was to see my peeps attacking eachother! On a personal level! I was horrified to see that the names signed at the end of nasty, below-the-belt comments and tirades were those of my bloggilicous friends.

Is this what it’s like to be friends with women? The first time I saw Beth and Angela do this to eachother in the first grade, I wanted to scream at them and knock their two coconuts together. “Look what you are doing to eachother!” I’m a coward. I announced that I would not play with them for the rest of the day, and stomped home. It didn’t solve anything.

The worst part of riding on the Intercollegiate Horse Show Team was keeping track of which alpha female hated which friend because they were taught to wrap a leg differently when they were seven years old! It was too much to take. I just wanted to ride my horse and go home. Forget friendships.

I’ll admit that when I told DH about the Today Show interview, we did argue over it. We have not settled the arguement, and we do not agree, but that’s no reason to attack eachother over it!

I like ::points finger:: *you,* and *you,* and *you* and *you,* I see wonderful, fabulous and different people. It doesn’t occur to me that *she* doesn’t like *her,” because *they* told *she* that *her* said blah, blah, blah, blah blah. 

It makes me sad. I feel defeated. This is why I was a tomboy as a kid, a loner in college, and I don’t keep up with the girls I hung out with in high school. Why try to be friends with women? If they don’t turn on you, they’ll turn on eachother and tap their feet waiting for you to pick a side. Damned if you do…

I guess I’m horrified to see that friendships are the same online as they are in person. Shame on me, I guess.

I’d really love to take a couple of you and knock your coconuts together! Coconut Momtinis, anyone?

 

See, look! I really do:

Its right there, in the back, under a layer of brown. See? See!? Can’t you see it? Its pink on the other side too.

See the lovely “Kitchen Organizer” hanging on the wall? I love this board.

Top Left: Groceries Needed

Bottom Left: number of servings of meat in the freezer (to prevent “Duuuuh… What are we gonna eat tonight?”).

Middle: “I love you more than _________.” Changed as appropriate. Today it reads “I love you more than (my cichlid named) ‘Bad, Bad LeRoy Brown’” because that dang fish is killing off another tank full of very expensive companions.

Top Right: DH’s To-Do List (unchanged in about a week).

“Characterized by sedate dignity and often a strait-laced sense of propriety; sober.”

I drank more at Blogher than I did in seven total years of college, and my blogher peeps think I’m “staid!”

I’m not staid! Really, I just have a giant stick up my hmm-hmm. Not that that’s any better… but still.

I’ve always had this false sense of delayed gratification. This isn’t so bad when we’re talking about saving for a house, and paying off the car loan. Its become a way of life. I got through grad school on a wing and a prayer. But, after years of living off ramen noodles and peanut butter, I can’t break it!!!

Nah - Let’s not go to Rome for our honeymoon, we could do it for our ten-year anniversary.
I wish I could take my favorite teenagers to the water park, ::sigh::
Oh, Honey, we don’t need cable tv.
I wish I wasn’t too old to buy a pair of Heely’s
I wish I could have pink streaks in my hair…
DH is very supportive of all my wacky ideas. When I whine that I wanna go to a water park, he says “lets go!” Even Heelys. He walks me around the parkinglot holding me up so I don’t fall, just like my uncle Gil did when I was five years old.

I’ve been on a thing lately. Why do I need validation and approval before I can do something self-indulgent and wacky once in a while? I am an adult. I have a paycheck. I’m out of debt. I’m a dink. What is my problem!?

MiniMartha has to tell me to click the send button when I put bras in the shopping cart at Vict*riasSecr*t.com.

I have to use a little kid’s birthday party as an excuse to buy Paint-by-Number posters.

I “ask” DH if I can have pink hair, only because I know he’d never say no - and then I have to ask my hairstylist if she will do it!? I’m paying her and I have to have her permission to have pink hair? What the??

I’ve been looking for an excuse to make Shrinky-Dinks for over a decade. Does anyone know where I can order them online??

I set my alarm for 4:00 a.m. on Friday morning, because I had a 6:30 a.m. flight to San Jose. I woke up at 2:00 a.m. (earlier than I ever woke up for christmas morning) and COULD NOT SLEEP. I was too excited to get to Blogher ‘06 later that morning.

When I got to the conference and saw all of the people, i started shaking even before I picked up my very cool looking “Hi My Name is… Nervous Weirdo” name badge.

Still shaking, I put my badge around my neck and saw Oh My Gosh Its Jenn Satterwhite(!!!!!) standing near a sponsor table. And, of course, being the socially inept idiot that I am, I walked right up to her with my camera ON and said “I’m not leaving this conference without a picture of you.” Yeah, scaring people is a fabuolus way to make friends. Go me.

And, because I’m destined to make a fool of myself - I introduced myself to Our Fabulous Hostess Elisa Camahort, and fell on my butt when I went to shake her hand.  

I wanted to see the Fussy T-shirts, so I stood too close to some poor sap and when she turned around, I dumped my drink on my digital camera.

For the rest of the weekend I was too ashamed to go sneak a picture of Jenn, but fortunately, there were other really cool people at Blogher 06 like  Elizabeth of  Tableforfive, Chase, Deb, Becky, Kris, and Carmen to make me feel at home.

Back from Blogher. Overstimulated. Overwhelmed. Offline to revamp the site with new ideas. Nice to meet you. Leave a comment, and I’ll get back to you asap.

Am I really *that* old? Is it really *that* time?

BlogHer is tomorrow. I’ve been packing, running errands, and shopping to for the trip.

I usually sport the “Lazy Au Natural” look. I really don’t feel like spending my life in front of a mirror. I did decide that I’d better get my eyebrows done and find a better concealer before this weekend - since there may be lots of digital cameras floating around.

Yesterday, I walked into a salon and asked for an eyebrow waxing. The asthetician looked at me, and without blinking said “And your mustache and new highlights too, right?”

HOLY COW! How rude! Yes, I know. I need new highlights. It’s been months, and I just don’t care. But a MUSTACHE!!!!!? I have a mustache? Wait, I do not have a mustache! Do I??? Am I the only one who doesn’t know I look like Charlie Chaplain? Is this chick playing me because she’s just trying to make a buck? I hate it. I know she’s gotta make a living, but making a living by getting other people to feel insecure about their God-given bodies? DOOODE! that just sucks.

Later, I walked up to the Clinique counter and asked the saleswoman to pick the shade of concealer that I need for the acne scars on my chin. Again, without even blinking… “Here, let me show you how to put concealer under your eyes too.”

I can not be *that* old, can I? Or is this a revisit of the misguided pre-teenage notion that big girls wear blue eyeshadow? How am I *already* being groomed for the next twenty years of trying to pretend that I’m still 20 years old?

Today, I’ve looked in the mirror 4 times, and it’s only 8:00am. Fabulous. I haven’t done that since I was 18 years old.

UPDATE: Chadie tagged me so I can now be cool and answer questions that someone actually wants answers to! Here are Chadie’s interview questions:

What do your family and your children like that you are blogging?
Do they want you to write about them or they dont like that?
Well, we have “no kids, (yet),” but my husband does encourage me to blog. He thinks its funny that I flex my geeky muscles once in a while. Occasionally we get into a blog-fight, if he starts responding to my blog posts on his blog (jokingly).

Have you been at a Blog-Meeting before? Nope, never. I am scared too death. I can’t wait.

How did you get to know about BlogHer? I read a lot of blogs. Everyone came back from 2005 and posted all of their pictures and their personal experiences with meeting other bloggers. Everyone seemed to forge lasting friendships. I just had to be there this year!

Which are your three best posts in your blog? Looking back to before the wedding, I was REALLY stressed out, and it was so NOT funny at the time, but now I think the bridezilla meltdowns like this one and this one are pretty funny… at least now I understand why people were laughing at me back then.
I heard the most comments from people after the moron *tried* to break into my car.

Why did you start blogging? Do blog of the same reason now or has it changed? I started blogging as a stress reliever before the wedding. If I could rant once to the internet, then I wouldn’t have to rant over and over and over to each of my friends that was helping me get ready for the wedding.
——–

The other questions I answered myself start here:

When did you start blogging and why? Or Talk about your blog. What can I learn about you in under 5 minutes? I started blogging while I was engaged to DH. Time.com had linked to Heather Armstrong’s blog as one of 2005’s best web sites. I didn’t even know what a blog was, but I was hooked from the start!

How do you use blogging to build friendships? Ok, so I’m lame because I’m too shy. I read blogs because I can find other peoples perspective on the things I am facing (married life) or will face some day (mommyblogs). One of the hardest things about going from bridezilla to dinky is moving farther away from the network of people i’ve always relied on for advice and perspective. Blogs definately make me feel less lonely.

Who do you read every day, rain or shine? clickmom. She posts EVERY DAY, I just don’t have that much to say. She’s also very raw and unpolished unlike most of my other favorite reads. I read the big three, spacerider, and my newest addiction is PW.

What don’t you write about? My immediate family. I’ve never been able to communicate to them that they need to learn the difference between a “smile” and “straight teeth.” Sometimes I think they just don’t *want* to look past the orthodontia.

How do you feel about meeting bloggers in real life? Are you nervous? Will you have great expectations? What do you hope to take away from the BlogHer experience? Holy Guacamole!!! I am so nervous and so excited. 4 more days… I’m just dying. I’m hoping that the big three on my list will not be too swamped/papperazzied to stop and chat. I feel a little silly. I hurt for people who pour out their lives to the internet in good and bad. I’m so sad for mommyneedscoffee and busymom today - I’ve never even met the chicks.

So soon we’re going to meet each other at BlogHer. Important question. How do you party? Um. Refer to the above comment about social skills… I’ll be the lemming standing by the wall wearing blue jeans and a sloppy pedicure.

Are you and your blogging persona the same person? I dunno, what’s my blogging persona like? 

Have you ever anonymously posted on a site to flame them? Nope.  

If you had a super power, what would it be? I used to say “teleporting,” because I couldn’t get anywhere fast enough.  Now I guess I’d like to say “Able to get ready for work in 10 minutes flat… AND look good doing it.”

So, OodleDay got me thinking… 

10 years ago, July 18, 1996: I spent the summer before my senior year *studying.* Not studying for college… but memorizing my Economics, Government, and Varsity Choir homework. I was juggling babysitting with yearbook camp at UCLA, and the youthgroup leadership team at church. I was staying busy just to stay out of my head. That was the year I started getting treated for a myriad of “stress related” afflictions.

8 years ago, July 18, 1998:I actually still have the montly planners that I kept obsessing over *religiously* through out college. I couldn’t make a decision without looking in the book. What does the book say now? The book says that week I was I was stuck living at home that summer - after 9 months of freedom living on my own at school. I was selling knives (it was better money than flipping burgers,and I only cut my hand open once). I was horsesitting a horse I couldn’t ride, and desperate to prove myself capable of caring for a horse of my own. So desparte, that I rode on a quadrille team I couldn’t stand.

6 years ago, July 18, 2000:I had finally earned a horse of my own, but apparantly I was the only one who didnt know that yet. I had asked for a horse “for the summer” and treated her like a borrowed treasure. It didn’t occur to me that the little mule would be “mine” for the next 5 years. I was working graveyard shift at the campus hotel, preparing for the GWT (the Did you learn to write in college) test.

5 years ago, July 18, 2001: Working for the dean of faculty every day, baby sitting, dog sitting at houses in two different counties, riding my horse, getting my horses’ hooves trimmed, mailing transcripts to the car insurance guy to continue my good student discount, getting my transmittion fixed, picking up my then boyfriend’s birthday gift, helping him pack and move, helping my friend (later bridesmaid) move, and buying airfare for my my Elfin friend’s wedding.

4 years ago, July 18, 2002: I graduated college, spent a week in the dentist’s office, and then started graduate school. I was still working for the dean of faculty, and still riding but I had been assigned to a different horse because “mine” was pregnant that year. This marked the beginning of my nearsitedeness, 8 hour days in the computer lab working on websites and Flash animations.

3 years ago, July 18, 2003: Two days before I met The Geek Of My Dreams. I was an intern for a computer school, writing the very first lines of the very first draft of my thesis. I dont know what possessed me to (try to) learn php, javascript and to ride in a western saddle that year. I was riding two horses every day - I had earned the priviledge of riding the “Princess” of the barn, but I couldn’t let go of my little mule.

2 years ago, July 18, 2004:The book says that entire days were filled in with nothing but “Thesis.” I was so stressed about finishing grad school that I had to stop riding. I trained new students to replace me in the dean’s office, wrote curriculum for my thesis, and wondered what the heck i was gonna do with life after college. When I said “Man, I wish i could take Goose, Moose, and Monkey to the waterpark” The Geek of My Dreams said “Lets go.”

Last year, July 18, 2005: That Geek had proposed in 2004 and we started planning our lives together. He’s built me lots of geeky toys. Everything from help with my thesis, to a new CPU, to any website I could dream up. (Ask me about usetheschwarts dot com one of these days.) I had never heard of a blog until CNN put up a link to the top websites of 2005. I was hooked on dooce.  We had planned our trip to the river - but I didn’t want to go, because I’d miss updates on Heather’s site. That Geek was nice enough to archive the entire domain and store it on his laptop so I could get my fix at the river -  I’m a lemming, I HAD TO HAVE ONE!

And there you have it. Happy Blogoversary to me.

Today: surviving My First Teaching Job, getting used to being a Dink(y) working stiff, adjusting to a new church group, going out with “Other Married Couples,” learning not to yell “$h!t” when I get a face full of flames from the pastor’s BBQ, admitting I’m mad at God, remembering not to forget when DH has a headache and needs to go home for some Advil, loving and hating all 650 square feet of “Our” home.  

5 years from now, July 18, 2011:Hmm… Mommyblogging? A Two-Year-Old? Monthly Newsletters? A home? Telecommuting from the only house we could afford to buy (in Siberia)?

10 years from now, July 18, 2016:I can’t even see it. A Ph. D? An 8 year old kid? Another baby? Being used to DH’s snoring? I can’t imagine.

 

Is it geeky to blog an IRC log? Do you think I’ve been doing too many pilates videos?

dink(y): ALT + SPACE + N
minimartha: sigh, yup, it’s official… mini doesn’t belong near your name anymore
minimartha: you’re a geek
dink(y): Um, No. I’m not really.
dink(y): “ALT + SPACE + N, and ALT + TAB, ALT + TAB… Everybody now! And one and two and three and four…”
dink(y): Ok, Maybe I am.
dink(y): I just blogged this.
dink(y): I am a geek.

Or maybe just a dork, I dunno.