I have no words.
I mean, I have words, I just…
I thought I would be able to summarily describe motherhood in short daily posts. I thought I would sneak away during nap time and crank out something quick to help me remember the day.

But, I have no words. Ducky was seven weeks old yesterday, I wanted to record all of the little things that I didn’t want to forget, before I forget.

I sit down, and have no words.

It shouldn’t be hard to crank out the labor story. The breastfeeding complaints. The cry for mercy in the middle of the night. The gas, the burps, the screaming.

It shouldn’t be that hard to sit down and write about the new experiences in a foriegn land. Mommy Groups! Mommy Guilt!

It shouldn’t be that hard to vent about The Mommy Police. I’m new at this, I have no training, I’m working my butt off, and I don’t suck at motherhood that badly. Stop criticizing me (and “suggesting” what I’m supposed to be doing), at least you got to shower today!

It shouldn’t be that hard to joke about torpedo boobs, and the other jokes that I can’t remember when I finally sit down to write at 2:30 in the morning.

It shouldn’t be that hard to admit that I don’t care if The Dog licks his face.

It shouldn’t be that hard to find a minute to jot down the milestones. His cord fell off! He can hold up his head! He learned to latch! He outgrew his newborn hat! He cuddled with me! He recognized Daddy’s voice! The newborn hand-me-downs don’t fit! That face was a happy face, almost a smile!

It shouldn’t be that hard to snap a picture of each adorable outfit he wears. Get a movie of his first coos. Get a movie of him doing something other than sleeping.

It shouldn’t be that hard to find a babysitter when I’m ready to sell him to gypsies.

It shouldn’t be that hard to remember what I like to do with my free time, when I finally have two free hands.

and he’s already a pro.

I just can’t get enough of watching these two hang out together.

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Already, I can’t belive he used to be this little.
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Three Days Old

My favorite little things this week:
Soft Baby Hair
Lanolin Spray
Moby Wrap
Husbands Who Take the Night Feedings
Figuring Out That the Sound of the Breast Pump Soothes the Baby
Tea
Tivo - yay for the pause button!!
Digital Cameras
Fresh Air

That Guy I Married just couldn’t resist. Our very own Lolcat picture:
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In a flurry of “we almost didn’t make it”, Ducky has joined The Douglas Clan!

Born at 12:28pm Friday October 3rd, at 7lbs 13oz and 20.5 inches of all-boy, this little fella is gonna break a lot of hearts!

Elizabeth said I was allowed “one freebie” to get back at her for anything she’s said about me on her blog. Aww, just one?

In all seriousness, being a part of the action, seeing everything she went though, seeing the pain (despite the incredibly short labor) of a natural childbirth without an epidural, I couldn’t possibly say anything to disrespect my favorite person in the whole world. I’ve got a new-found respect for Elizabeth, on top of the unconditional love and almost-never-ending patience that I try my very best to show every day, that only the circumstance of giving birth to a new human being could bring.

I’ve been speechless at a lot of things in life: sunsets, the Grand Canyon, etc., but THIS… wow, words utterly fail me at the beauty of seeing a new life being born in a bed you stand beside.

Hon, you did amazing! I’m so proud of the way you handled everything, the blood, sweat and tears, and the many months you were impatient with waiting (”is it OVER yet?!”), and comments of “YOU be pregnant, it’s YOUR turn…” and discomfort and lack of quality sleep in the past two months, and all of your organizational skills of getting his stuff together, taking care of your own body, and everything else that has gone into carrying our little Ducky into this world.

I love you with everything in me. Smoochies.

So.
We found out last week that we had to choose new insurance coverage, and change providers 9 days before the baby is due.
Tuesday night, the day before our health insurance provider was changed, I smudged my glasses and took them off to clean them. They fell apart in my hands.

FAIL.

I didn’t have to be anywhere for a couple of days, so I’ve been getting by with my sunglasses.
Yesterday, I took my glasses to Lens Crafters to see if they could be repaired. I was hoping they could replace a hinge or I could just buy new frames, since I’d kind of like to SEE THE BABY. I’ve gotten spoiled because Lens Crafters has that “In about an hour” thing.

Nope, they can’t be fixed.
Nope, Lens Crafters doesn’t carry my frames any more.
Nope, THEY DON’T TAKE THE NEW INSURANCE.

Pregnancy can sometimes cause vision changes. I don’t want to use up my annual allowance for glasses and then need a new pair after the baby is born.

After stopping by That Guy’s office to find out who DOES take our insurance, I made some phone calls and found someone who was willing to sell me the “kids package” on the cheapest pair of glasses in the store. No eye exam, so I have to sign something saying that I can’t return these, or complain about them, Fine. YAY.

The office is close by. And has no parking. Literally. No parking. This might be why she was so willing to sell me *any* pair of glasses. You have to be really determined just to make it into this office. I was given a choice between 6 frames, and took the first pair that fit. I gave the clerk my credit card, and she says:
“Great, I’ll call you when these come in. It should be next Tuesday.”

FAIL FAIL FAIL.

You’ll have to tell me if the kid is cute - because I may not be able to see!

FAIL FAIL FAIL FAIL.

Yesterday, we went to interview another pediatrician. We’ll probably go with this guy, he seems “fine,” I guess. I’m too tired to go interviewing any more people.

Taking an hour-long car ride to the ‘burbs. It’s HOT here on the coast this week, the ‘burbs are going to be a nightmare.

Looking at pictures of dogs who need to be rescued from the shelter. The Lab/Pit mixes! They look just like The Dog! They are SOOOO CUTE! The Dog would looooove to have a playmate right? We’ll have room for two dogs, two inlaws, and a baby this month, right? Right?

Going to the store to buy more Ramen noodles What the heck is up with craving RAMEN at 38 weeks?

Bargaining with myself how long I can go without getting my glasses fixed. I tweaked them last night, and they fell apart this morning. I’m worried they’re not fixable. I may be due for a new perscription - but pregnancy hormones can change a perscription, so I don’t want to get an eye exam and new glasses if I’ll just need another one in two months. But then there’s this pesky idea that I might actually like to be able to see my baby this month.

Waking up That Guy I Married to ask for a back rub. He didn’t sleep last night, and I’m getting a chair massage in an hour and fifteen minutes.

A bunch of rides were closed for “redressing” for the holidays. Why do I have to miss out on the Haunted Mansion? I don’t even like the cheesy Nightmare before Christmas decorations - two dimentional cardboard cutouts painted with flourescent paint and lit with blacklight does NOT add anything to this ride. Why close it for DAYS to do the redressing?

A college buddy is working on the Small World remodel (I guess it hasn’t had new boats since it was built). I thought it was funny to be “allowed” to see under Disneyland’s skirts from the train ride.

I guess I can’t get too mad at That Guy for taking pictures of Port-a-Pottys. I saw these in every bathroom at Disneyland and couldn’t resist taking a picture.

But, I gotta love him, because he knows exactly why this is funny.

Yup. This is the guy for me. No, ladies, you can’t have him. He’s aaaaaaaaaaall mine.