That Guy I Married just couldn’t resist. Our very own Lolcat picture:
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The baby came Friday. Internet, meet Ducky.

A few more pictures below the fold.
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In a flurry of “we almost didn’t make it”, Ducky has joined The Douglas Clan!

Born at 12:28pm Friday October 3rd, at 7lbs 13oz and 20.5 inches of all-boy, this little fella is gonna break a lot of hearts!

Elizabeth said I was allowed “one freebie” to get back at her for anything she’s said about me on her blog. Aww, just one?

In all seriousness, being a part of the action, seeing everything she went though, seeing the pain (despite the incredibly short labor) of a natural childbirth without an epidural, I couldn’t possibly say anything to disrespect my favorite person in the whole world. I’ve got a new-found respect for Elizabeth, on top of the unconditional love and almost-never-ending patience that I try my very best to show every day, that only the circumstance of giving birth to a new human being could bring.

I’ve been speechless at a lot of things in life: sunsets, the Grand Canyon, etc., but THIS… wow, words utterly fail me at the beauty of seeing a new life being born in a bed you stand beside.

Hon, you did amazing! I’m so proud of the way you handled everything, the blood, sweat and tears, and the many months you were impatient with waiting (”is it OVER yet?!”), and comments of “YOU be pregnant, it’s YOUR turn…” and discomfort and lack of quality sleep in the past two months, and all of your organizational skills of getting his stuff together, taking care of your own body, and everything else that has gone into carrying our little Ducky into this world.

I love you with everything in me. Smoochies.

This is a couple of weeks old, but I thought I’d share.

Why is choosing baby furniture harder than choosing our child’s name?

I still have no idea if anybody loves or hates Costco nursery furniture in the US. I’ve found several favorable reviews of Costco baby furniture sold in Canada- but the Canadian Costcos sell different brands than the US.

Here’s my hang up: I hate formica. I never had a single piece of real (wood) furniture until after we were married.

I can remember being seven years old and going with my dad to Levitz because “we” were going to pick out some furniture for ::ahem:: my room. I followed my dad into the store, and couldn’t understand why “we” marched right past the whitewashed wood dressers with interchangable pink drawer nobs, the furniture that said “a girl lives here.”

I ran after my dad as he went straight for the corner of the store that said “I went to the College of Design in 1976.” I grew up with formica furniture that was painted to look like wood grain. In addition to being painted to look like wood, each piece had a facad to make it look like it had fifteen little drawers when it really had five. The pressboard drawers never did line up right, It was terrible.

When I went to college, I saved up babysitting money for rubbermaid tubs and plastic drawer sets because I was not taking that Formica Crap with me when I moved out. With my newfound 18-year-old cockiness, I proclaimed “I’d rather live out of plastic tubs for the next four years, then live out of formica for the next twenty!” The thing is, I left for college eleven years ago, and I still have each and every one of those plastic tubs. Tubs that are now full of baby stuff.

That (eeeeeeeeeew) Formica Set is still sitting empty in my dads house, right where I left it. It talks to me and tells me “I’m right here, waiting for you.” Yes, talking furniture. I have gone insane. Apparantly this IS the ditch I’m going to die in.

Yes, I know: babies, they chew on cribs, they pee on everything. Toddlers color on everything with stray markers and crayon (my prefered colors were purple and green). Small children find imaginative ways to play with furniture. But, a large part of me is still waiting to become a real person who deserves real furniture. My Kid Deserves Real Furniture.

This is all compounded by the fact that my husband is The Son of a Gifted and Amazing Carpenter. He grew up learning about well-made furniture, he is Justifyably Picky.

For a baby set that might get trashed in 3 years, I wouldn’t mind getting a couple of $100 pieces of furniture FOR A $100 PRICE, and just replacing it with good stuff later. Unfortunately, we’re finding all kinds of poorly made furniture that looks pretty but isn’t made well enough to be worth the $300 price tag.

So, do we…

Overpay ($1,000) for the cheap new baby set, hope it lasts through two kids, and throw it out when it falls apart?
Drop $2,000 on the hoity toity gorgeous furniture that would survive armageddon, and tell our teenager to live with the teethmarks because HEY! YOU’RE THE ONE WHO CHEWED ON IT!
Try to find something nice on craigslist, ebay, garage sales, second hand stores (my feet hurt just thinking about it).

Blah blah blah, I’m bored with myself.

Yesterday, we went BACK to Babies R Us(ed to suck money out of parents). Again. We looked around. We shook some crib rails. We knocked on the inside of drawers and the tops of changing tables to see what the wood was made out of. We found the sturdiest set in the store. We compromised to agree on a color. We discussed convertable vs. disposable, combination pieces vs. seperate pieces.

I GOT DOWN ON MY NINE-MONTH-PREGNANT HANDS AND KNEES to examine weather the pieces could be reinforced, if need be. We discussed options for a good 30 minutes and CAME TO AN AGREEMENT THAT WE BOTH COULD LIVE WITH. Then we went to find the salesman.

Who looked at us and walked away.

We sat down at his desk. We stared at him. Eventually, he pulled his finger out of his nose and wandered over.

We asked him questions. He had no answers, just a blank stare.

Apparantly this guy is only getting paid enough to check the store’s inventory in the computer. He checked the stock. THIS ENTIRE SET is no longer in the store, and can not be ordered online.

THE SET THAT TOOK US NINE MONTHS TO AGREE ON!

Then why is it on the floor at full price? Blank stare.
(This is the part where every other Babies R Us sales associate in California offers to check the stock at another store.) Blank stare.

I wasn’t sure if I was detecting hot air or cold air coming out of That Guy’s ears, but we were both pretty deflated after all of that. I’m debating calling the store on Monday morning to see if I can get The Real Furniture Manager at that Babies R Us store to give us the time of day.

ELEVEN (or maybe 25) DAYS TO GO!!!!!

Ack! I am going out of my mind. There was something absolutely CRITICAL and IMPORTANT to blog about yesterday, and now, for the life of me, I CAN NOT REMEMBER what it is.

Is this the part where I’m supposed to start having nightmares about going home and leaving my baby in the shopping cart at Target? I don’t know, I CAN’T REMEMBER!

I have the baby countdown checklist, and I’m forcing myself to not do things “ahead of time” on the list. I washed laundry, interviewed a pediatrician, packed my labor bag, stocked the freezer; all according to schedule.

A month ago, I put on the calendar “Car Seat Installation - CHP,” because the checklist said to do that two weeks before my due date. Bazillions of babies are born every day, I figured this would be a drop in/weekly appointment sort of a thing. So, today, I called, and was told that the next available appointment is on October 31. ACK! THE CHECKLIST HAS FAILED ME, THE BABY COUNTDOWN CHECKLIST DIDN’T TELL ME TO MAKE THE APPOINTMENT ONE MONTH IN ADVANCE OF TWO WEEKS BEFORE MY DUE DATE. What else is noone telling me?

—We now return to my regularly functioning brain—
Speaking of just now being told stuff - I just remembered what was so darn important.

First, I’m due October 9. A couple of days ago (as in the third week of September), That Guy I Married got an email informing him that his employer is changing health plans on October 1. AAAAAACK AAAAACK AAAACK.

We were told that no matter what, we need to CALL the insurance plan on October 1st and make sure we’re set. Nevermind that we spent all summer getting set up with the previous health plan (and checking off of THE LIST). We can’t set this up ahead of time, or deal with it when we come home from the hospital (we’d end up paying cash and hoping to be reimbursed before the kid goes off to college). I’m having visions of laying in my hospital bed simultaneously having contractions and trying to spell my name for insurance providers who can’t find my file because they haven’t finished processing my new account in their system.

Second, the New! and Improved! health care package we’re being switched to when I’m 39 weeks pregnant has three choices. I can:

1. Choose This Plan, change hospitals in week 39 and have the pediatrician that Everyone Under The Sun (including my cousin and midwife) recommended. The pediatrician that we already interviewed and agreed upon. The pediatrician who supports my concerns about meds while nursing, and spreading out vaccinations to not overload baby with eight vaccines all in one day. OR

2. Choose That Plan, lose the Super Nifty Pediatrician, and deliver in the same (brand new, highly rated, faboulous hospital where I’ve already met all the staff and had the hospital tour) hospital that I’ve been planning to deliver in since 20 weeks. Choose This Plan and keep the hospital that basically next door, a fifteen minute bus ride away in a (husband-unavailable) emergency. Choose This Plan and I get to keep my psychological/psychiatric safety net that I’ve been carefully working on all summer. The safety net with the shrink who is not a moron, the new mothers group where I’ve actually made a couple of real, live, human, breathing Mom friends (instead of the binary bloggy kind of Mom friends I’m so fond of).

3. Buy a season pass to Disneyland. Spend a few weeks hanging out the park during park hours. Go hide on Tom Sawyer’s Island during active labor and then have some poor Cast Member cart me off to First Aid to pop the kid out. That way Disneyland can pay for the delivery off their insurance.
M-I-C-K-E-Y M-O-U-S-E!

I was born and raised in a Super Huge Mega HMO. I know, everyone hates them, but I know how to use the system to get what I need. We switched to a Fancy Pants PPO when we moved here in May. I’m just getting the hang of the PPO system, and starting to like/trust the services. And NOOOOW I’M BEING SWITCHED to a network where I get my choice between a series of smaller “HMO+” options.

I fail to see what is so New and Improved about having choices between three smaller networks instead of one large network. And HELLO! Did I mention the part about being 39 weeks pregnant on October 1?

—
And now for the slightly more fun stuff on the list. The lovely BlogHer Ad contract strongly encourages us to post at least three times a week (I think - my memory isn’t fabulous lately) to meet our obligations to people paying for ads.

Would anyone like to guest post while I’m off delivering Ducky?
I’ve got two weeks to go - give or take two weeks. Not that there are any signs of impending labor just yet. Leave a comment or drop me an email if you’d be interested. I’d like to queue up some posts in the next couple of weeks, so that they’re set to go.

Any takers for the following topics (or pick your own)?
Firstborns
Worst advice ever received
Maintaining friendships with pre-baby, non-parent friends
Dogs and babies
Hobbies for new parents
Including long-distance relatives in baby’s life
Easy Christmas gifts for new/busy parents to give out

Leave a comment or drop me an email. Thanks!

Ok, so I made it all the way through to term. Does that mean that I get to stop taking pictures of the circus tent belly now? Really. This just isn’t cute anymore.

We got the carpets cleaned yesterday, and we’re getting a new couch set delivered today. I’m just a little too excited about having a comfortable place to sit. It’s been hard to sleep, hard to sit, hard to stand. The only thing that doesn’t hurt is walking. We walked around Disneyland for eight hours.

Two Months Before Baby – August 9
If possible, take childbirth classes. Taken.
Keep tabs on your baby by counting its movements in an hour. HA No! The kid moved around today? Yes? OK then…
Schedule Think about maybe scheduling an interview with (maybe one) pediatrician for the baby.
Print, reprint, scribble out and give up on writing write your birth plan and make copies for your doctor and the hospital staff.
Does it count if I get some pretty pretty princess paper and print out:“Don’t like crowds, prone to panic, more afraid of catheters and needles than I am of labor. Please don’t poke me. Muuuah!”
Continue eating well and drinking lots of water. In August I was still doing this.

Six Weeks Before Baby – August 21
Have a heart-to-heart talk with your husband or partner about childcare. I AM the childcare. Nice.
Set up your baby’s sleeping, diapering, and play areas in the house. Costco Nursery Furniture? Does it suck? Anyone? HELP!?
Register for postpartum parenting classes and a postpartum mom’s support group. I’m already IN the support group. The next schedule of parenting classes won’t be posted until after my due date. Grrr!

One Month Before Baby – September 9
Pack your bags for the hospital. I have a pile next to the bed with socks, chapstick and nursing bras, does that count?
Practice your driving route to the hospital. Dude. It would be totally funny to take the bus to the hospital in labor! I’d save a fortune on daily parking fees!
Continue eating well and drinking lots of water. Oh, right, water. Um? It’s that stuff I put in the dog dish? Isn’t there a pitcher in the fridge. I should go do that. ::chug, chug, chug::
Go out for a fancy dinner with your husband or partner. – UUUUUGH. Not another stupid restaurant. All I do is walk the dog, nap, and read menus.
Plan a girl’s night out with your friends (no alcohol!). Aw, darn, and I thought I’d get to toss back some goldschlager!? Fooey!
Enjoy a night to yourself, doing whatever you like to do (and won’t be able to with a baby in ‘tow’.) Whatever I like to do? Horseback Riding!? River Rafting!? Renting a motorcycle? Yeah – I think that’s going to have to wait another few months.
Start preparing and freezing family meals for after baby is born. DONE.

Three Weeks Before Baby- September 18
Start watching for signs of labor (Use your doctor’s signs of labor checklist.) How am I supposed to do this if I’ve never had a contraction before?
Continue to eat well, rest, and sleep. Funny. I’m supposed to sleep with cramped hips and calves?
Go shopping for nursing bras. Done.
Tie up loose ends with baby plans. (Put sheets on the crib mattress, wash the baby clothes, buy diapers, etc.) It took me an hour just to take the tags off of half this stuff. I’ve washed one load of blankets and diapers, that counts, right?
Continue to exercise and stretch. No problem. Except that I can’t reach my feet.

Two Weeks Before Baby – September 25
Try to take time off from work. Done.
Stop Weight Training. You mean I wasn’t supposed to do that the day I got pregnant?
Eat light frequent meals. Is there anything but light meals for a pregnant woman?

One Week Before Baby – October 2
Watch for signs of labor, If possible, get a massage. Why isn’t massage listed every month?

The Final Days Before Baby - October 6
Make sure you know your partner’s schedule. Sleep, email, laptop, eat, laptop, sleep. At least I always know where he is.
Continue to exercise and stretch, if possible. Oh, NOW its “if possible.”
Wait for baby!

I’m trying to check things off The List this month. One of the things on the list was filling the freezer. There’s a chain of make-it-and-take-it dinner shops in California called Dream Dinners. I’ve totally fallen in love.
It works for me because I can book an appointment, show up with a cooler, assemble two months worth of dinners, and take the cooking instructions home with me.
I like it because I’m not the most creative person in the evenings, I can never remember which groceries we already have at home, and which ingredients I need for a recipe. I’m also not a big fan of touching raw meat, or buying a five-dollar jar of sesame seeds to try out one (terrible) recipe.

Oh, and That Guy I Married makes it a little too easy to say “Hey, let’s eat out tonight.”
It comes out to about $12 a meal, since we rarely eat the leftovers. In L.A., that’s a good deal.
I get to look in the freezer and at least feel like an accomplished Domestic Diva.

The first crochet project I ever did took me a full YEAR to finish. I had started a layette when we decided to go off The Pill. The layette is beautiful, but it has become something of a prayer shawl, reminding me of a lot of pain and hours spent bargaining with God. I learned to read the pattern as I read it, and undid as many stitches as I completed. I would pick it up when I needed something to do other than obsess over my basal body temperature chart, and I would put it away when I got too depressed to look at anything baby related. I finally finished it and put it away. That layette was more for me than for a Someday baby.

This baby, the one that is here with me, has a name and a heartbeat full of hope and promise. This baby is real, and wakes up in the middle of the night when I have to go to the bathroom. I felt that this baby deserved a few fresh stitches. Stitches untouched by angst and depression. I picked up the easiest sweater pattern and chunkiest yarn I could find, since I don’t have all year to make another layette. This sweater took me a week to finish. I even made the buttons out of Shrinky Dink paper. How’s that for nesting?

That Guy I Married is getting the nesting bug too. This week I looked up the dimensions of the high-chair we bought, then measured the kitchen, the kitchen table, the microwave stand, the trash can and the dog food storage container. I couldn’t figure out how to make it all fit in the space meant for a kitchen table. That Guy decided “Oh, that’s easy” and went about measuring and redrawing. He ended up opening the box and setting up the high chair. Everything just barely kinda sorta fits. But that’s the way we like it.